my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar
if you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
(Source: drarna)
her eyes were the colour of
This makes me smile for no apparent reason
i love donuts. they’re not self-centered at all.
what a time to be alive
If you feel bad about yourself just remember this photoset
- me: hi may i get a caramel frappuccino
- starbucks: sure. may i get your name please
- me: esteban julio ricardo montoya de la rosa ramirez
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.
OMG
OMG LOOOOLLL I’M SO DONE
*slow claps*
sksdklgksdgjksfg
I see Durex has taken a page out of the Sony playbook’s “Don’t give a fuck” chapter
(Source: c0cainkeys)
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
i’m forever stuck between wanting to discover loads of new music and wanting to listen to the same 4 albums over and over again
(Source: sacred-profane)







