my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar
if you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
her eyes were the colour of
This makes me smile for no apparent reason
i love donuts. they’re not self-centered at all.
what a time to be alive
If you feel bad about yourself just remember this photoset
- me: hi may i get a caramel frappuccino
- starbucks: sure. may i get your name please
- me: esteban julio ricardo montoya de la rosa ramirez
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
i’m forever stuck between wanting to discover loads of new music and wanting to listen to the same 4 albums over and over again